Bessie Bewes (1896-1983)
Growing up for me, my Grandmother was
always in the kitchen of her house in San Souci.
We would arrive there on a Saturday
morning, enter via the backdoor, say hello to her as she stood at the sink or
bench (I don’t remember kissing her), then straight out the back to play in the
yard or down at the shed where my Grandfather would be.
We would be called in for lunch, and again
for afternoon tea, before Grandfather drove us home. Grandma, as we called her, sat in front, and
I don’t even remember them getting out of the car at Greenacre.
I don’t remember any hugs, cuddles or
kisses, but I do know there was a pic of her holding me as a new born baby and
one of her with her arm around me when I was about 10.
She was not what I would call affectionate,
and I don’t think she would have been comfortable with children climbing over
her.
In 1970 there was the Captain Cook
Bi-centennial celebrations, and I remember attending these at Kurnell with my
grandparents. A short while later, perhaps
on the next Saturday visit, my mum had bought Bi-centennial spoons for each of
us children. I remember going in to my
grandparent’s house to show Grandma my spoon.
She snapped at me. I can’t
remember what she actually said, but it was along the lines of stupid and waste
of money. I was hurt and ran
outside. I mentioned it to my mum later
and she just told me to ignore it.
She was not what I would call a happy
person. Once she spoke to me of her
childhood, I was married and a father by this time. She said that after her mother died (this
happen when she was 8), that her father, a stern man, had decided that as her
older sisters had married and had children, that her and her twin sister
Georgina were to be separated and sent off, one to each sister to help look
after the new babies. “glorified maids”, she said.
Fred & Bill
Eliza, Georgina, William Bewes, Bessie, Florence
Walter
1904
She was born on the 2nd of May
1896 at 92 Bruce Street, Cook’s Hill, in Newcastle. The younger of twin daughters to William and
Georgina (nee Dilling) Bewes. There was
5 older siblings, Eliza, 16; Florence (known as Fol), 14; Bill, 11; Fred, 6;
and Walter 4. Her mother had not been in
good health and during the previous 10 years the family had left Newcastle a
number of times to move to the small country town of Murrundi in the hope that
country living would help.
On the 19th of July 1904
Bessie’s mum passed away at the family home.
She was only 45 and had been suffering from Tuberculois Aldomunalis, for over a year. Two days later Bessie, along with her sisters
and brothers, watched as her body was taken from the house to the cemetery at
Sandgate.
The following year her oldest sister was
married and went to live in Murrundi.
There was now a housekeeper, Mrs Knott, to run the house. Her brothers were working. Her other older sister, Fol, was too old to
spend time with young girls, so Bessie and George (Georgina’s nic name) were
left to themselves. There were cousins
living next door to play with, Ivy and her younger sister Doris, being closest
in age.
In July 1909, Bessie’s sister Fol married,
and this left only Mrs Knott, the housekeeper, as an adult female in the
house. In June 1910, Fol gave birth to
twins, a boy and girl, George and Edna.
Her older sister Eliza, already had two babies, and would have a third later
in the year.
Bessie’s father made the decision that his
twin daughters needed to be of help to their sisters, or perhaps he thought it
would be better for them to live with a female relative? We will never know his reason for sending the
girls away. Georgina was sent to
Murrundi, and Bessie travelled to Sydney, to live at Kogarah with her sister
Fol, and her husband, George Goldie.
Bessie spent the next few years helping
raise her sister’s babies. Her
brother-in-law was a more harsh man than her father, and did not allow
her to go out. She had no money of her
own and was totally reliant on her brother-in-law for all of her needs, like
the glorified maid she would later describe to me.
It was also during this time that Bessie
was sent over to Manly, to stay with her grandmother, Mary Ann Dilling, who was
blind and in her late 70’s. Mary Ann
lived with her son Walter Dilling and his young family, and whenever they
needed a break, Bessie would go over to care for her grandmother. She had to help her around the house, as well
as “pushing her on to the tram” whenever they went out.
By the time she turned 20 in 1916 she
wanted to get herself a job. She wrote a
letter to her father back in Newcastle explaining how she felt. He immediately sent her money so she could
attend a secretarial school, and there she learnt to be a typist. This led to a job in the centre of Sydney at
Gowing’s Department store. Bessie’s life
changed now, she was no longer reliant on her brother-in-law, and she was no
longer just looking after other members of her family. She made friends at the local church, one of
whom was Reg Powell, who she would marry on the 28th of January
1922.
I have thought a lot lately of my
grandparents, how different they were.
How she seemed too occupied to care about us grandkids but not knowing
what she was occupied with. I have
wondered why she seemed so, to me, bitter.
Why she seemed not to like children.
In January 1910 the Sydney Morning Herald
reported the 1909 Examination Results for the Sydney College of Music. The exams had been held all over the
state. Some of the winners would be
given opportunities for a career in music.
Among the list of 400 is the following:-
STUDENTS
CERTIFICATES – PIANOFORTE
Junior
Pass – Bessie Bewes
THEORY
OF MUSIC
Initiatory
Honours – Bessie Bewes
A few months after this, at the age of 14,
Bessie left her childhood home to go look after her sister’s babies.
Losing your mother at 8, being separated
from your twin sister at 14, then to have you passion for music taken away from
you too, cannot have left fond memories, and perhaps make a person guarded on how they show their love.
I know my grandmother loved her husband Reg
very much. I know that although a stern
mother, she loved and cared for her two daughters, Lorna and Joan, dearly.
To my Grandma I say you raised your
daughters to be good mothers, and they were.
My only wish is that I had memories of you
playing the piano, who knows they may come to me yet.
Bessie Bewes 1896-1983
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Lorna Bessie Powell 1922-2009
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Kevin Reginald Brady 1961-
